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Post by melissa on Oct 17, 2005 22:18:04 GMT -5
I was reading through some of the things people have writen and the MELTDOWN is something I can realy associate my self with. My son Tell has them so badly and it affected my ability to deal so much that I simply quit leaving the house with him. That is untill recently. I came to the concluson that that is just a part of him and if I can deal, than every one else can also. I have recieved some pretty sny remarks,(not to my face ofcourse, but whispers behind my back, but loud enough that I was sure to hear) some nasty looks, and of cours the advice from the ones who have NO CLUE, but want to help. We often have these meltdowns in a grocery store. And they are out of control. I have been headbutted, pushed over, and bitten trying to control thies episods, and have learned thier is no control. Now my approach is to make sure he is in no danger to himself and others and ride it out. Our home town grocery stores have came to know Tell by name and I have come to deal with the looks and remarks. Now I have found a support in the stores from the people who work thier and although the meltdown is going to happen I no longer feel as though it is affecting every one else around. And quite frankly if it is then "Oh-well" if I foud a way to deal than so can they.
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Post by momofautistic on Oct 19, 2005 17:41:26 GMT -5
melissa i applaude you for being able to have that additude, I often worry to damn much about what others are going to think or say and it has me walking on egg shells at times before the meltdown even starts.
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linda69
New Member
Keep trying!
Posts: 1
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Post by linda69 on Feb 27, 2006 17:52:33 GMT -5
Hello,my name is Linda,I have a step daughter who is autistic,I have been having a bit of trouble with her,she is 12 years old,she has to be at least 5'4',almost as tall as me.I'm kinda new at this,thats why I came to this group.I need a little help.Basicully her father lets her get away with everything.Me, I dont,I mean she has the mind of an 18 month old baby.Well the only thing i can say is "help".
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Post by LiLi on Mar 2, 2006 4:45:35 GMT -5
Hi Linda! What kind of problems are you having? You know that is something that is not addressed often, but I feel that even autistic children need some sort of guidance, based on their capacity. You say she has the mind of an 18 month old, so what would you do for an 18 month old that was acting out? I completely understand what your getting at when you say she is almost as big as you. My son who is 9 is big and pretty strong so I have a hard time. All you can do is your best! There are a lot of good books now about the autistic child that address the issues you face. Hang in there!
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Post by notsofrustratedmom on Apr 20, 2006 10:51:59 GMT -5
Momofautistic, I know, and dont really care, that this string is 2 years old. Thank you so much for posting all that wonderful information. Now I feel like Im not alone and that others can understand what I am going through. My son has mild Asbergers and frequently, less frequently as of late, has been having meltdowns- hurting himself and others. I never really quite understood what it was or how to handle it. The more we tried to comfort him and soothe him, the worse it got. Thank you again for having this up here- you helped me understand and become less frustrated because now I know just what to do. ~Less Frustrated
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Post by dsdsdsdsds on May 13, 2006 23:01:05 GMT -5
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Post by MARGARET MORALES on Jun 6, 2006 21:54:38 GMT -5
I HAVE SEVERAL STICKERS ON MY CAR EXPLAINING MY CHILD IS AUTISTIC ON MY WAY HOME FROM THE DALLAS AREAYESTERDAY RIGHT AFTER I PULLED TO THE SIDE OF THE HIGH WAY MY DAUGHTERWAS CONTINUING HER MELT DOWN OR EPISODES AS I CALL THEM I AM TRYING TO GET HER OUT OF THE CAR A LADY PULLS UP AND SAYS I WILL CALL THE POLICE I EXPLAIN TO HER AT LEAST SIX TIMES MY DAUGHTER IS AUTISTIC BEFORE SHE FINALLYGETS A CLUE AND DRIVES AWAY. THE REST OF THE RIDE HOME MY DAUGHTER DID FINE I JUST GET FRUSTRATEDWHEN PEOPLE MAKE HASTY JUDGMENTS AND SNAP CHOICES ABOUT OUR KIDS,.MARGARET
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Post by navyleech on Jul 22, 2006 21:09:36 GMT -5
Hi, I am a new member with a 4 year old boy who is autistic. I want to see if anyone can help me out with a particular Stim. I recently started the GFCF diet. I also took my son off of milk a while ago because I just knew that it really affected him. He recently started doing weird things with his eyes. He is squiting a lot and making this weird "face". I just read that calcium, or the lack there of, could be the problem. Does anyone have any ideas or fixes for this. Thanks a bunch!
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Post by LiLi on Jul 28, 2006 23:16:42 GMT -5
Hi! I'm not sure if it started when we tried changing my sons diet but he did go through a phase of making a face like what I think you might be describing. My son would squint his eyes really tight and sort of wrinkle up his nose. I called it his squish face and eventually he stopped doing it. Unfortunately it has been awhile so I can't remember if it was because of the diet. He is not on any diet now except I don't let him drink milk and only eat a small amount of cheese. I'm sorry to not be of more help but I wanted you to know that it is something others have experienced...
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Post by guest on Jul 31, 2006 4:38:51 GMT -5
Wow, just found this place and am soooo glad. It recently occurred to me that my 10yr old nephew (who I have the pleasure of bringing up 'cause his father (my brother) died recently from lung cancer) has Aspergers Disorder or Syndrome. I can soooo relate to the "meltdowns". This child I have recently had diagnosed as ADHD/ODD but I believe it is soooo much more than that and searching around on the internet I am pretty sure that what his grievance counsellor and a teacher friend have it right on the nose that it is Aspergers. I have brought up 4 children of my own and this is the first time I have encountered this behaviour in all my years of child rearing and believe me I can really relate now to other parents and their children's behaviour in a different light. The grievance counsellor is looking into getting him formally assessed by someone who deals with this condition exclusively and trying to access funds for the diagnosis as I am financially unable to pay. I didn't think I would be bringing up a child thru school etc again - my youngest are 20 year old twins! Who knew? Again - so glad I found this board
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Post by Ettina on Feb 13, 2007 16:04:43 GMT -5
"* During a meltdown, a child with autism does not look, nor care, if those around him are reacting to his behavior. * A child in the middle of a meltdown does not consider her own safety. * A child in a meltdown has no interest or involvement in the social situation. * Meltdowns will usually continue as though they are moving under their own power and wind down slowly. * A meltdown conveys the feeling that no one is in control. * A meltdown usually occurs because a specific want has not been permitted and after that point has been reached, nothing can satisfy the child until the situation is over."
Granted, my meltdowns are not typical of autism because I also have PTSD, but except for the loss of control they sound more like the description of temper tantrums. I need my parents to see my meltdowns. Otherwise I start self-injuring (hoping to leave a mark that shows my pain) or go looking for them. If I run off (usually because I'm feeling trapped) I want to be followed. I am less considering of my safety, but I still think of my safety. For example, I think about jumping out of a window but I'm scared to. As I described above regarding an audience, my meltdowns are related to social situations. That's what makes it different from shutdown. Shutdown is when I just start trying to block everything out. The difference is that if I'm overwhelmed but not in conflict with anyone, I shut down, while if someone is demanding something I have a meltdown. I have tendencies to demand avoidance syndrome (an autism spectrum condition where they're terrified of people telling them what to do) but only when I'm overloaded. The stuff about meltdowns continuing awhile then gradually winding down is true of me, and the loss of control. I feel compelled to act certain ways, and my feelings are forcing me to do something while terror blocks me from things like speaking directly about what I'm feeling or asking for help (so I hint at it and feel betrayed when they don't understand). My meltdowns usually occur because I'm overloaded and someone tells me to do something or not do something which I'm unwilling to obey either because of what it is or how they told me, and I start feeling trapped into resisting them and attacking them. One major thing about my meltdowns is that because of PTSD, I have major trust issues. I feel like people need to prove they care about me. For example if I run away and they don't come, I assume they don't care. (Instead of not knowing where I am or thinking I need alone time.)
"Lovaas realized that the main difference in behaviors between children with and without autism was based on the way that children learn. Children who do not have autism are constantly learning. Even beyond school, every moment of every day is a learning experience for a child. Learning is a constant and dynamic process. However, a child with autism goes to school and for a prescribed number of hours each day, he learns things. When he returns home, the structured learning is over for the day and he retreats into his own world."
That is simply not true. Autistic kids often learn a lot on their own, even if they seem not to be doing anything useful. Besides, normal kids take breaks where they're not learning, especially if they're overwhelmed. (Which means school might be interfering with independent learning by overwhelming the kid and making them seek out soothing routines.) And many autistic kids don't always show they are paying attention the way most kids do. For example, the tendency to use peripheral vision means they may seem to be gazing at nothing while they are watching something in peripheral vision. Also, more abstract things can be learnt while sitting absolutely still ignoring everything around you, if you just think about them the right way. I figured out a lot of math on my own just by thinking. I really hate how behaviorists ignore what is going on inside people's minds, and how some behavior is called 'purposeless' because it's strange even though it has just as much of a purpose as some normal behavior.
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