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Post by momofautistic on Nov 24, 2005 3:33:01 GMT -5
A Day in the Life, with an Autistic Child.
"I dont wear shoes much, so when I walk around I can feel all the goo under my feet. I usually walk carefully in here. In the kitchen, there is a mixture of two litres of milk, a litre and a half of fruit juice an emptied box of garlic powder, a litre of vegetable oil, a packet of spaghetti (broken into hundreds of tiny pieces) the washing powder, kilo of salt and various herbs, spices and of course the butter, mustard and peanut butter smeared all over the cupboards and counters but mainly on the floor...all over the kitchen in one great lake of a mixture.
(I have left out some ingredients for the faint of heart).
I am guilty of not locking the kitchen last night. My boy woke up before me. I take a look in the sitting room. Spaghetti (as before...two packs,broken into thousands), yogurt-covered seat and floor, plenty of emptied drinks,(coke, juice, wine) every square inch of the carpet is sodden,also from the pee he's been doing (one of which I slipped on in the hall(vinyl floor) and banged my head) and chocolate handprints all over the walls and doors.
Meanwhile, he has pulled the curtains down, taken his clothes off and is standing naked at the window, we live on a busy main road...I see he has wiped his bottom over almost everything, too. There are small flies around and we both have severe coughs, I believe from the mould under the carpet. We both recently had chicken pox and pneumonia.
I threatened our social worker with the environmental health officer over the 'phone, they are sending a carpet cleaning service next week. It was (approximately) my 12-13th request for this, I dont have the cash to get an industrial carpet cleaning service. It costs £40. My hoover broke. It's an old one. Had to take it apart just now, cut off all kinds of gunk, wash bits of it, empty the thing, by now I resemble a chimney sweep, only I amfilthier.
Meantime my son is occupying himself in the bathroom (I had just relieved him of the felt-tipped pens he was using to scribble all over his body) I went to look. The bathroom is flooded, as usual, he has pulled off the head of the shower, the hose part too, and so a fountain is left, it's destination; the floor, where there are clothes and toys and garbage all strewn and mixed in together. All the shampoo, baby oil and soap are down the well with toilet rolls and toys and a ceramic mug. I see he wants to pee. I say 'go to the loo' he wont, I dont blame him, we have no toilet seat since he broke it. I get some newspapers (unread) and kitchen towels,towels, old shirts etc., and try to show him how to clean it up. A spider runs out, but I am not scared of them anymore. He cries because I shouted. If there's a sadder sight than this little boy crying, I dont want to know. He is so beautiful and he doesn't mean it, he cant speak, he flaps his arms all the time, and giggles infectiously. He also loves to hug me very tightly. But I yelled, and I made him cry, so I feel like s**t. I cant be bothered to go into the detail of a WHOLE hour after all."
Liz.
Lizanj@aol.com
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Post by momofautistic on Nov 24, 2005 3:36:35 GMT -5
this original thread was accidently deleted and reposted.
o.k. you made me cry! I remember days like that! we had everything locked and borded up.He still managed to get into every thing!!!! I laugh because I remember the economy size sunblock all over the house and the water and catsup and eggs and babypowder. I cry because I also remember he would cry too because I would get mad. They are our little angels in spite of everything. Thanks for sharing your day.Sounds familiar. Brandon's mom
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Post by momofautistic on Nov 24, 2005 3:38:30 GMT -5
this thread was reposted
Hello
I've been diagnosed with autism since kindergarten. They let me go because i was unable to connect with other children because I prefered being alone and play the way I wanted to play, not with the other kids
When left alone and obsession over whatever I was obsessed with at the moment I was fine, quiet, and content. Be it a puzzle I had to figure out, a book I couldn't put down, a musical instrument, or just some numbers, once I could add math.
The best advice I can give to any parent with an autistic child is to let them have their obsession, even encourage it. They will master it in no time, because they spend an enormous amount of time teaching themselves.
Creative things making the children use their imagination of which they have plenty, is another important point ; they'll obsess over it, but it is positive because they have an urge to be creative and master it.
I was lucky, and my parents let me evolve into the person I AM, not the person they are. I am normal, according to my own individual normalcy. I do have problems socializing because I don't understand many social laws. I'm considered aggressive, rude, undiplomatic, because I say it as it is and as it comes to my mind.
I have problems understanding why people lie, though they call it being diplomatic. I have trouble listening to different noises at the same time , it's overwealming and I get an anxiety attack.
There are many challenges and I can't possibly conquer them all , because I would give up part of what I am.
I can't compromise myself, to become "normal" in the sense of other's normalcy, not my own
But there are many more things I can easily do, which are challenges to others. Everyone has a challenge and we're ALL normal in our very personal way
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Post by momofautistic on Nov 24, 2005 3:39:45 GMT -5
repost
OMA, Thanks very much for sharing that advice. I believe advice from someone whom themselves is autistic is very valueable because my number one goal in raising my autistic son is to see him be happy and with so many people out there that love to tell you how you should be raising your child and as a parent you always have to wonder if your doing whats in the best intrest of the child, it's nice to see things from the autistic point of view.
Thanks again for sharing your story.
Cheri
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Post by momofautistic on Nov 24, 2005 3:40:43 GMT -5
repost
I have had far too many of those days! I'm thankful that my son has gotten past alot of those things (potty training, for instance) - although he seems to have moved on to other destructive things like kicking holes in walls and punching holes in glass - and that I have a husband who can fix walls/windows and makes enough $ to buy a good steam cleaner!!! Anyhow, it's nice to know that I'm not alone. I was feeling especially guilty because I just yelled at my precious son. Sigh, be glad that yours just cries; mine becomes self-injurous when I yell. Nothing like the guilt of watching your son beat/pinch/bite himself until he's covered with bruises everytime you raise your voice (not to mention watching what it does to my daughter when she raises her voice, cries or pouts and he hurts himself because of it). Someone please tell me that life gets better. Thanks!
Stacia
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Post by melissa on Nov 30, 2005 17:32:06 GMT -5
Wow what a day that must have been and my heart goes out to you because I have had those same days almost to a "T". Flodded bathrooms, fecies smeared from room to room, covering bedding and carpet. Food tore open and thrown everywhere, milk and egg dumped on the floor "Tell did that one with the help of his little brother when he was 4" He has mellowed out though since he was 5 and thoes days was a daily event to some extent. Now that he is almost 10 I think he has come up with his own ways to settle him self down. And I agree with the heart ach of seeing him cry. He knows when he has done wrong and sometimes it doesn't even take me raising my voice, but a simple look of displeasure on my face to bring him to an uncontroable soob, that in turn brings me to crying along with him, It makes me so sad. I love him so much. Any way.... now that I am in tears I just want you to know that we have all been thier in one way or another and to hang in there. And as selfish as it may sound I am so glad I am not the only one, and thank you for sharing.
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Post by momofautistic on Nov 30, 2005 19:23:20 GMT -5
that does sound selfesh but I have to agree 100% to the statement. If it wasnt for knowing that there are actually other people that know exactly what i'm going through I dont know what i would do.
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Post by stressed1 on Dec 22, 2005 1:53:45 GMT -5
We have 2 boys ages 9 and 7 both diagnosed with autism. They are different in many ways and the same in many ways. The only thing I would really like to know is 'why is it that parents are not finding ways to reach out to get together to share ideas, arrange for programs and just 'be there' for each other?
I have looked at so much on the internet, I'm going blind but really there is nothing right out in front of you...
How do other parents get thru the day? Does it seem there are more unsettling days than good ones?
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Post by momofautistic on Dec 26, 2005 16:46:58 GMT -5
We have 2 boys ages 9 and 7 both diagnosed with autism. They are different in many ways and the same in many ways. The only thing I would really like to know is 'why is it that parents are not finding ways to reach out to get together to share ideas, arrange for programs and just 'be there' for each other? I have looked at so much on the internet, I'm going blind but really there is nothing right out in front of you... How do other parents get thru the day? Does it seem there are more unsettling days than good ones? yes there are times when you feel there are more bad days then good and I totally agree with you about having more local support groups because its natural to feel like no one can relate to what your going through. We try to seek that support in our currant friendships but dont really feel understood when they try to compare there child of the so called "norm" to our autistic child and they think they can relate but they havent got a clue. |
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Post by AlexLacey on Apr 3, 2006 7:26:15 GMT -5
I read your story a while back and always remember it when my son gets into the fridge at 3 am or gets into his diaper and smears poop from room to room or better yet consumes it. My son is 7 years old and i have been told by doctors that he is the hardest child they have ever seen. I feel truly blessed. He's one of a kind.
No matter how many locks and clothing i put on him he always manages to get himself into trouble. When he does this I try really hard not to get angry and just laugh instead. I learned that by getting angry It just makes the situation worse. I have to go grocery shopping today I need eggs, butter, milk, mayo, ketchup, cheese and mustard. Yes he did it again.
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Post by autism22mummy on Oct 21, 2006 6:22:46 GMT -5
i am going to paste some one elses post here because i really need to talk to the person who wrote it ok here is the post i was wondering if anyone can tell me who wrote thise post
Hello
I've been diagnosed with autism since kindergarten. They let me go because i was unable to connect with other children because I prefered being alone and play the way I wanted to play, not with the other kids
When left alone and obsession over whatever I was obsessed with at the moment I was fine, quiet, and content. Be it a puzzle I had to figure out, a book I couldn't put down, a musical instrument, or just some numbers, once I could add math.
The best advice I can give to any parent with an autistic child is to let them have their obsession, even encourage it. They will master it in no time, because they spend an enormous amount of time teaching themselves.
Creative things making the children use their imagination of which they have plenty, is another important point ; they'll obsess over it, but it is positive because they have an urge to be creative and master it.
I was lucky, and my parents let me evolve into the person I AM, not the person they are. I am normal, according to my own individual normalcy. I do have problems socializing because I don't understand many social laws. I'm considered aggressive, rude, undiplomatic, because I say it as it is and as it comes to my mind.
I have problems understanding why people lie, though they call it being diplomatic. I have trouble listening to different noises at the same time , it's overwealming and I get an anxiety attack.
There are many challenges and I can't possibly conquer them all , because I would give up part of what I am.
I can't compromise myself, to become "normal" in the sense of other's normalcy, not my own
But there are many more things I can easily do, which are challenges to others. Everyone has a challenge and we're ALL normal in our very personal way
please i really need to speak to this person
Andy
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Post by sassymommy on Dec 27, 2006 17:00:55 GMT -5
I just wanted to give you a great big hug...my son has classic autism and this post is my life, everyday. If it's not locked I'm in trouble...if it gets unlocked with watching eyes I can never keep it locked again!!! If there is anyway to get out of "asking" with his PECS...he gets it, at all costs. The diaper smearing...gawd, I used to think I was alone...I used to think this can't even be related to Autism. My child acts as if I found him in the jungle and he's had no form of discipline, life skills, socialize, but has....This is the stuff Dr's don't tell you when you get the DX...It's so hard. So hard.
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Post by Rachel on Aug 19, 2007 14:32:10 GMT -5
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I felt like I was reading about an hour in my own life. This is my 1st time getting on an autism support group website. You have made me cry also, just reading that one page. You have actually made my day knowing that I am not the only one who goes through this everday, day in and day out. Thank you again.
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Post by DFGADFG on Nov 1, 2007 19:29:47 GMT -5
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Post by ytbsba on Dec 2, 2009 21:58:15 GMT -5
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Post by moonfairy28 on Jun 16, 2011 21:28:55 GMT -5
Thank you for sharing your story with all autistic moms out there it's good to know that there many more moms out there with special little angels that need our love and support always. My little boy Alexander i will always support him and never give up on him. I know its hard to not loose your patience with an autistic child and I'm learning and try so hard with my son to be patient the more I can, All I can do is give him my love and be there for him. take it day by day as it rolls out.
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