Post by mamabear on Feb 7, 2008 14:28:48 GMT -5
Hi everyone. Call me Mama Bear. I'm a 44-year-old single mom living in New York City. My son Baby Bear is 10 years old and was diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction at age 3, and autism spectrum disorder at age 9. Thank God he is relatively high-functioning--always been mainstreamed, excellent grades, does well with karate, bowling, and swimming. He has just started a social skills class at our local autism support center and is doing well there, too. Despite all this seemingly good news, I have so many issues to bring to you good people that I hardly know where to start.
I guess I'll start with my boyfriend, Shark. He thinks that the problems my son has are due to a lack of discipline. For example, when I tell BB that we are going shopping, he has to know how many stops we're going to make, how long we'll be at each place, what we're going to get, what time we'll be home, etc., etc. This drives Shark nuts. He yells at BB to shut up and listen to Mom without question, but that only gets BB going even more. Another example is when Shark and I are together, if we are holding hands or hugging, BB invariably squeezes himself in between us. I understand this, because BB has boundary issues, but Shark is highly offended by it.
Shark has been living with us for the past several months, but now he says he needs to move out because he can't take BB's behavior (and my "lack of discipline") any more. I have asked Shark to go with me to the autism support center, where they have parent support groups, but the last meeting was calcelled and the next one is in a couple of weeks, so we haven't gone yet. Also, I got the name of a man whose son is autistic and is involved with the center, and he said Shark was welcome to call him any time to ask questions or discuss anything he wants, but Shark hasn't used the number, saying, "I don't know what I would say to the guy." I'm afraid all this makes Shark look like a real bum, but he's actually one of the sweetest people I've ever known. It's just that in this particular case, he seems to have no patience. If anyone out there has any experience with something like this, or any thoughts, please let me know!
I guess I'll start with my boyfriend, Shark. He thinks that the problems my son has are due to a lack of discipline. For example, when I tell BB that we are going shopping, he has to know how many stops we're going to make, how long we'll be at each place, what we're going to get, what time we'll be home, etc., etc. This drives Shark nuts. He yells at BB to shut up and listen to Mom without question, but that only gets BB going even more. Another example is when Shark and I are together, if we are holding hands or hugging, BB invariably squeezes himself in between us. I understand this, because BB has boundary issues, but Shark is highly offended by it.
Shark has been living with us for the past several months, but now he says he needs to move out because he can't take BB's behavior (and my "lack of discipline") any more. I have asked Shark to go with me to the autism support center, where they have parent support groups, but the last meeting was calcelled and the next one is in a couple of weeks, so we haven't gone yet. Also, I got the name of a man whose son is autistic and is involved with the center, and he said Shark was welcome to call him any time to ask questions or discuss anything he wants, but Shark hasn't used the number, saying, "I don't know what I would say to the guy." I'm afraid all this makes Shark look like a real bum, but he's actually one of the sweetest people I've ever known. It's just that in this particular case, he seems to have no patience. If anyone out there has any experience with something like this, or any thoughts, please let me know!