Post by autisticmom07 on Aug 13, 2010 19:28:43 GMT -5
Today was bad. Today was very bad.
It started out innocently enough. My eldest autistic child (I have 2 diagnosed) is nearly 5, and obsessed with video games and cars and Care Bears. His schedule has been so thoroughly disrupted, due to ABA therapists quitting two weeks after beginning, a new bedtime to prepare for kindergarten, and his baby sister, 5 months old, demanding more attention.
Tonight, oh Jesus. Tonight he didn't want to go to bed. And that led into everything else. He didn't want his blanket. He didn't want his stuffed frog, which he takes everywhere. He didn't want me in the room. He didn't want me to leave. He didn't want his milk. Then he wanted it, but two seconds after demanding it, he changed his mind. He was tired, and tiring himself out even more, but refused to lay down.
Soothing didn't work. Rubbing his back, which occasionally works, set him off even further tonight. Ignoring him didn't work. Distracting him worked very briefly, and then he was back to it again. 30 minutes later, and he's still screaming at the top of his lungs like we're axe-murdering him. I live in an apartment building with ignorant neighbours, so I'm half-afraid the cops are going to show up with social workers, checking on a report of children being harmed.
It isn't the first meltdown he's had, and I know it's not going to be the last, but... On top of everything, I have undiagnosed post-partum depression, which has slowly been creeping up on me since Baby Girl was born 5 months ago. While I see the doctor on Monday about it in the hopes of getting some help, it does nothing for me tonight. My stomach's in knots. My head is pounding. I'm in tears. I'm ready to just curl up, stick my head under a pillow and try to wish the rest of the world away. I love my son, the little goofball of laughter and energy he is. But I'm. So. Tired.
I haven't really had a break from my children in three years. An hour here, half an hour there. The last time my husband and I got a babysitter and left the house for any length of time to do something for ourselves was to see a movie in theaters three summers ago. I don't want to inflict a possible nuclear missile strike on a babysitter. Most of my family lives elsewhere.
I'm at the end of my rope tonight. Posting here has made it a little better. I hope this isn't the wrong forum for it.
It started out innocently enough. My eldest autistic child (I have 2 diagnosed) is nearly 5, and obsessed with video games and cars and Care Bears. His schedule has been so thoroughly disrupted, due to ABA therapists quitting two weeks after beginning, a new bedtime to prepare for kindergarten, and his baby sister, 5 months old, demanding more attention.
Tonight, oh Jesus. Tonight he didn't want to go to bed. And that led into everything else. He didn't want his blanket. He didn't want his stuffed frog, which he takes everywhere. He didn't want me in the room. He didn't want me to leave. He didn't want his milk. Then he wanted it, but two seconds after demanding it, he changed his mind. He was tired, and tiring himself out even more, but refused to lay down.
Soothing didn't work. Rubbing his back, which occasionally works, set him off even further tonight. Ignoring him didn't work. Distracting him worked very briefly, and then he was back to it again. 30 minutes later, and he's still screaming at the top of his lungs like we're axe-murdering him. I live in an apartment building with ignorant neighbours, so I'm half-afraid the cops are going to show up with social workers, checking on a report of children being harmed.
It isn't the first meltdown he's had, and I know it's not going to be the last, but... On top of everything, I have undiagnosed post-partum depression, which has slowly been creeping up on me since Baby Girl was born 5 months ago. While I see the doctor on Monday about it in the hopes of getting some help, it does nothing for me tonight. My stomach's in knots. My head is pounding. I'm in tears. I'm ready to just curl up, stick my head under a pillow and try to wish the rest of the world away. I love my son, the little goofball of laughter and energy he is. But I'm. So. Tired.
I haven't really had a break from my children in three years. An hour here, half an hour there. The last time my husband and I got a babysitter and left the house for any length of time to do something for ourselves was to see a movie in theaters three summers ago. I don't want to inflict a possible nuclear missile strike on a babysitter. Most of my family lives elsewhere.
I'm at the end of my rope tonight. Posting here has made it a little better. I hope this isn't the wrong forum for it.
